French Essence Copyright Carla Coulson
Something happened to me and my email inbox many years ago!! Readers of Italian Joy started flooding me with questions about how to change their lives? They had read my story in Italian Joy about changing my life, being so fed up with what I did and the state of my love life knowing that if I didn't change something I risked living the same life at 60 that I got on a plane to Italy and eventually became a photographer.
Yesterday I received an adorable email with the title 'Decisions, Directions and a Desperate need for advice'. Wow, that certainly got my attention and as I started reading I realized I had received this email in many different versions over the years. A cry for help..
Someone uncertain about what they are doing, where they are going and should they just abandon everything tomorrow and get on a plane for Italy? I know this feeling well.
Stop! If this is how you are feeling today take a deep breath, make yourself a cup of tea and stay calm. Everything is going to be ok.
If you want to change your life don't do anything radical that will put you in a dangerous and unstable situation (economically). I did this and though I look back now and it all seems a whole lot easier than it was I have had many gut-wrenching, anxiety filled moments throughout the years, especially in the beginning when I had no plan, no idea of what I was getting myself into and a limited amount of money. I had no network of friends or family around me to help when I fell as I was on other side of the world (Italy).
So to that lovely girl who wanted to know the reality of the photography business and how I started my career, I made a plan and I followed the plan. And very soon I will have many more answers to these questions on my new website so stay tuned!! If there are any of you out there who feel like jumping on a plane to Italy take that deep break and tell yourself everything will be ok. Because it will be.
Try and do the following:
1. Make a cup of tea and behind kind to yourself.
2. Ask yourself what it is you really want to do in life and where you want to live. Write it all down, make lists and lists if you need to.
3. Don't get on a plane tomorrow!
4. Work out a budget, what do you need to live on, how much money do you have in the bank and write down how many months you would survive based on what you currently have as savings. Probably not enough to get on a plane and live happily ever-after.
5. Make a short term and a long term plan.
6. Try and speak to someone living the life you would like to live and ask questions you need to know.
7. Work towards what you want in life. We all have the power to change our lives and don't put yourself in a situation where you are destined to fail. This is important (ie getting on a plane tomorrow).
8. Read Uncertainty - a great book for creatives about building a secure environment and turning self-doubt into fuel for success.
9. Each of us needs to decide our own destiny and then go about making it happen.
Changing your life is 'a screaming with joy, fear and excitement at the top of your lungs' rollercoaster ride kind-of experience (that makes you feel like jumping for joy like the girl in the above photo). I highly recommend it! Changing my life was probably the single greatest thing I have ever done. But never do it without planning it.
Wishing you all the love dust in the world.
Carla xx
Much good advice there Carla! I would love to pack up and move to Italy as well and happily take my whole family along... but reality settles in after a cuppa and I realised that I don't need to run away there right now (as much as I wouldn't say no!) but one day when the time is right :)
ReplyDeleteThe truth is, it's never the right time, we keep putting it in the 'too hard basket' - or worse still - 'who am I to think I can drop everything and take off overseas purely for the love of photography?' I'm guilty of both - yet not a day goes by without feeling that time is slipping by, especially when you're 57, and all you're left with is a deep yearning. You're right, Carla, planning is the key, but we can over-think things too. When are thoughts constructive and when are they self-defeating?
ReplyDeleteSophie and I are kindred spirits. I am in the same age group and now feel a burning desire to address the imbalances in my life. I have to confess I'm one of those people who have dreamt about following in your foot steps. I love photography and yearn to cast aside my current job for one that is more in line with my hobbies. Perhaps my passion for them would dwindle if I had to earn an income from them in order to survive!...............I definitely fall into the category of paralysis by analysis.
ReplyDeleteBon weekend.
Wow!
ReplyDeleteCarla this is a wonderful post and the photo is so uplifting.
ReplyDeleteIt's never too late to be who you might have been - a quote from George Eliot - there's no hurry - you have to know yourself first ...
I am a very late starter in the botanical art world - I consider myself a student still but recently had work chosen to be exhibited ... my adult children are finding themselves but so are their parents! Find your passion and everything unfolds ...
A really Grand post,Carla + remember, "You are always at the right time, doing the right thing" xxpeggybraswelldesign.com
ReplyDeleteOh, how I love this post! It speaks to me. Last year I left behind 15 years of hated desk jobs to pursue my creative dreams. It felt liberating, but it was *very* scary. It did take a lot of planning, which is so important so that you avoid those moments of panics and "What did I just do?!" :) It's not an overnight process, for sure. It's been a year and things are just now starting to heat up for me.
ReplyDeleteYou are an inspiration!
http://atallshipandastar.blogspot.com
That's one of my favorite photos of yours!
ReplyDeleteThe race for freedom...it does take a certain aount of thoughtlessness to do something wild and freeing.
I always went for the brass ring (except the one that goes on your finger) and I can't say I've regretted it.
Anything I hesitated over I've regretted not doing on the other hand, like moving to London in the 80's.
Moving to a new country entails a lot of guts and stamina.
So true!!
ReplyDeleteAlso an important question to ask:
Are you running towards something or away from something - if you are running away from something better to face your demons first because they will get the better of you - even if you will be eventually running towards something!
Carla, to me this is the best of what blogging can be. I love to think how you might have helped people who are on the fence. Your generosity is really appreciated!
ReplyDeleteAll my best from Arles et bon weekend!
Heather
Carla I was too scared to read this yesterday. I feared the unsettling effect it would have. And did!! Even though my love story with Italy is what consumes me everyday on my blog as it is. To your wonderful words I would add that there's no right time. It's all a balancing act. Our dreams are stronger than we know. Jxx
ReplyDeleteOften, life has to change because of circumstances beyond our control.
ReplyDeleteChange on a dime, overnight, in a split second.
Painful, lots of grieving, but then the growth & finally joy.
It's not what happens to you, it's what you do when it does.
Also learned to ask myself, 'what would I do tomorrow if I weren't afraid?' A question to calm & supply a lot more choices. Good choices. Better than fear based choices.
Garden & Be Well, XO Tara
Paralysis by analysis, as another reader commented. I'm all too familiar with that crippling feeling! Since being laid off from my full-time job as a copywriter and editor, I've been spending the last four months looking for a new full-time gig. BUT! I've also been filling my days with updates to my site, skills, and portfolio of photographic works. Who know? Maybe I won't have to go back to full-time employment with someone else's company. Wouldn't that be nice. Trying to make my dreams come true, to make a living writing, editing, and making pretty pictures FOR MYSELF for a full-time living. It may well take me many full-time jobs to make this dream a reality, but no matter what I will continue to stick to and adapt my plan to make it a reality ... one fine day. And Carla, your encouragement has been key. I thank you!
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful Carla. And I'm sure speaks to many. You truly are inspirational.
ReplyDeleteThis photo is one of my favourites. It is how i always imagine my life in the hills of nthn nsw. Tutus, gumboots and freedom. Although not that gorgeous and elegant... xxx
This advice is precious! I agree with you Carla, and also with Marisa's comment, one needs to stop, think and try to turn the crisis itself into a life changing experience. Yesterday I read a quote by Einstein "In a moment of crisis, only creativity is more important than knowledge". But as you say, creativity without a plan and -more importantly- without the strength, passion, and constant self-motivation to follow it is like having nothing at all.
ReplyDeleteYou are the best. So giving.
ReplyDelete